It’s a funny kind of month, October. For the keen cricket fan it’s when you discover that your wife left you in May. Dennis Norden Advertisements

Like a Duck

Be like a duck my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath. – Michael Caine

Some Day

Some day, we will look back on this and plough into a parked car. – Evan Davis

Middle of the Night

Don’t try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night. –  What The Dead Men Say – Philip K. Dick 

Peanut Butter

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. – Charlie Brown in “Peanuts” – Charles M. Schulz

Smart or Pleasant

Years ago my mother said to me, ‘In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.’ For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. – Elwood P. Dowd (Jimmy… Continue reading

Tree Branch

And there’s kids playing guns in the street And ones pointing his tree branch at me So I put my hands up I say “enough is enough, If you walk away, I’ll walk… Continue reading


I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. – The Fault In Our Stars – John Green


Life doesn’t make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy’s job is to point out that it doesn’t make sense, and that it doesn’t make much difference. – Eric Idle

Chicago Fire

If you beat this prick long enough, he’ll tell you he started the god damn Chicago fire, now that don’t necessarily make it fucking so! – Reservoir Dogs